My drive to work is one of those rare, quiet drives when no one’s in the car but me, and I actually get to choose what I listen to. Total mom luxury, right? This is when I catch up on podcasts or listen to a book. The other day, the first podcast up in my queue was Call Her Daddy and I was intrigued because Alex Cooper was interviewing Lauren Graham. And listen, I will forever be a Gilmore Girls girl. So of course, I tuned in.

About halfway through the episode, Lauren drops this one-liner that basically slapped me across the face—in the best way: “I know what I want and I’m grateful for what I have.”

I actually paused the podcast. Just sat there at a red light, staring at the steering wheel, thinking, “Wait. That’s it. That’s the whole goal.” Not just for this week or this season or this year, but like… for life. That’s the sweet spot. That’s peace. That’s confidence. That’s contentment with forward motion. It’s everything.

And I haven’t stopped thinking about it since.

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The First Half: I Know What I Want

Let’s start with that first part, because knowing what you want sounds simple, but we all know it’s anything but.

I don’t know about you, but I spent years not really knowing. Or, more accurately, I knew what I was supposed to want—according to teachers, Pinterest boards, society, influencers, or that loud inner critic who sounds a lot like some girl who bullied me in sixth grade. I chased goals that looked impressive or safe or shiny. I built a life that sometimes felt like it wasn’t even mine—like I was just renting it until I figured out what I actually wanted.

And then one day, I stopped asking, “What should I want?” and started asking, “What do I want to feel?”

Because that changed everything.

I wanted to feel at peace in my home. I wanted to feel like my work matters. I wanted to feel strong and have energy. I wanted to feel connected to people I love. I wanted to wake up and feel excited and well rested. I wanted to move through life without the heavy buzz of anxiety and comparison.

And slowly, I started naming things that gave me those feelings. I want to own a business that feels like me. I want to raise kind, wild, deep-feeling kids. I want to build real friendships where we talk about life and death and skincare and our favorite books. I want to live in a place that makes my soul feel seen. I want freedom in my time and energy.

Not everyone will understand what you want—and that’s how you know it’s your vision, not someone else’s. The clarity doesn’t come all at once, but with each little honest conversation with yourself, the fog lifts a little.

And let me just say this: knowing what you want is a form of self-respect. It’s brave. It’s claiming your life as yours—not your mom’s or your best friend’s or your old boss’s. And it’s so very rare. I don’t think that’s because it’s difficult to figure out what you want, but because it’s really scary to claim it. It’s scary to realize you need a change in direction. It’s scary to think that if you do make a change others may not understand. But I believe it’s much scarier to live a life that isn’t the one that your soul craves.

When I see people bouncing around thinking a new job, new city or new relationship will fix their life I truly believe it’s because they’re not digging deep to figure out what they actually want or they’re too afraid to go for it. So instead they are just throwing darts at a dartboard trying anything but the thing that could bring them the most joy but requires a leap of faith.

Once you start really knowing what you want, you start moving toward it. Sometimes in tiny steps, sometimes in giant leaps. But you move. And you ignore the naysayers because its YOUR life and the only thing that matters is that you lived it with authenticity and joy.

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The Second Half: I’m Grateful for What I Have

But how do you stay grounded in what you want for your life? Gratitude.

I think when people hear “I know what I want,” they picture this high-achieving, type-A, never-satisfied kind of energy. But pairing it with gratitude? That’s where the magic happens.

Wanting more doesn’t have to mean you’re ungrateful. And being grateful doesn’t mean you’re done growing. I wish someone had told me that earlier. You can hold both. In fact, you should.

I’m grateful for a hundred small things every single day. The way my daughter’s hair smells after a shower. The weird little rituals my husband and I have that make no sense to anyone but us. My morning coffee with almond milk at just the right ratio. The luxury of a quick workout at home. Praying with my boys every night at bedtime. The team I work with. The dreams I’ve already checked off the list. The ones I didn’t even know were dreams until they came true.

There’s this quote I love: “Remember when you wanted what you have now?” That one gets me every time.

I remember when I prayed for what I now call “normal.” I remember dreaming of stability. Of a good relationship. Of doing creative work that lit me up. Of slow mornings and wild, barefoot kids and a porch to drink coffee on in the summer. All of that was once a wish. Now, it’s my Tuesday.

So yeah, I want more. I want to write more. Create more. Travel more. Grow into the woman I can feel is waiting for me five years down the road. But I never want to bulldoze over the beauty of what’s already here to get to what’s next.

Gratitude isn’t complacency. It’s reverence.

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Holding Both Without Losing Either

That’s the trick, right? Holding both of those ideas—I know what I want and I’m grateful for what I have—without letting one cancel out the other.

It’s so easy to default to one extreme or the other. Sometimes we get stuck in go-go-go mode and forget to be present. Other times, we get caught in the comfort of what’s good and stop reaching for what could be great.

But the people I admire most? The ones who seem grounded but vibrant, peaceful but passionate? They’ve figured out how to hold both. To honor the life they’ve built while still expanding into what’s next.

They dream big—and they still cry over sunsets.

They have goals—but they also take naps.

They say “I’m working on it”—and also “I’m so proud of how far I’ve come.”

It’s a dance. And some days, I’m off-beat and a little clumsy with it. But I’m learning. And I think just trying to live in that balance is what makes the difference.

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So, What Do You Want?

If you’re still with me, I want to ask you this—not in a cheesy “new year new me” kind of way, but in a real, sacred way:

What do you want?

Not what looks good on paper. Not what sounds good at the family reunion. What do you, deep down, want?

And what do you already have that makes you say, “Wow. I’m lucky. Even on the hard days”?

Write it down. Speak it out loud. Claim it. You don’t have to have it all figured out. But knowing the direction? That’s enough.

And if you’re in a season where clarity feels hard—where the fog is thick and the path is unclear—start with gratitude. Name what you have. Let it ground you. Let it remind you that even in the waiting, there’s beauty.

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Final Thoughts From the Car Ride That Changed Me

That podcast quote has now become my personal mantra. Like seriously, I want to tattoo it on my wrist—or at least write it on a sticky note and slap it on my bathroom mirror.

“I know what I want and I’m grateful for what I have.”

It’s strong. It’s soft. It’s feminine in the fiercest way. And it gives me permission to be ambitious and content. To reach and rest. To love the life I’ve built while still building more.

So thank you, Lauren Graham. And thank you, red light on a random Tuesday afternoon.

And thank you, friend, for letting me share this with you. I hope it sticks in your brain the way it stuck in mine. Because honestly, if we can just keep showing up, knowing what we want and being grateful for what we have—I think we’re going to be just fine.

Better than fine.

Kendra