This will come as a surprise to absolutely no one who knows me, but back in college, I minored in philosophy. Yup, I was that girl—the one with a cup of coffee in one hand and a dog-eared copy of some heavy philosophical text in the other, always ready to dive into an existential debate.

But don’t worry, this isn’t going to be one of those “life is meaningless” rants. Instead, I want to talk about something that really stuck with me from those classes: the self-fulfilling prophecy theory. This concept has played such a big role in my life that I honestly feel like it deserves its own TED Talk. But for now, you’ll have to settle for this blog post.

What Is a Self-Fulfilling Prophecy?

In a nutshell, a self-fulfilling prophecy is the idea that what you believe about yourself (or your circumstances) will often manifest into reality. If you believe you’re destined to fail, you’ll unconsciously make choices that lead to failure. On the flip side, if you believe you’re capable and deserving, you’ll start making moves that bring success closer.

Let’s face it, life is hard. Some things in life that are difficult are thrust upon us but many things that are difficult in life are chosen (unintentionally) by us. Sometimes through bad decisions and other times by indecision. But when your brain zeroes in on a belief about who you are and what you’re capable of, it starts filtering information and shaping your actions in ways that reinforce that belief.

Crazy, right? But it’s also really empowering when you think about it. Because if your beliefs shape your reality, then changing your beliefs can change your life.

Limiting Beliefs: The Lies We Tell Ourselves

Now let’s talk about those nasty little things called limiting beliefs—the lies we tell ourselves that hold us back. You know the ones:

• “I’m not good enough.”
• “I’m not smart enough.”
• “I’m too old/too young/too whatever.”
• “I’m always going to be alone.”

Unfortunately, I think these beliefs are something we can all relate to feeling. For so many years, one of my biggest limiting beliefs was this idea that I was alone.

It wasn’t just a passing thought; it was a core belief that shaped how I saw myself and how I interacted with others. Because I believed I was alone, I didn’t let myself be vulnerable. And because I wasn’t vulnerable, I couldn’t form meaningful relationships. And because I didn’t have meaningful relationships, I felt even more alone. See how that spiral works?

But here’s the thing: I wasn’t actually alone. I had people who cared about me. I just couldn’t see it because my deeply held belief had blindfolded me. That’s the insidious thing about limiting beliefs—they create their own little echo chambers.

Breaking the Cycle: The Power of Awareness

So how do you break out of that cycle? For me, the first step was awareness. I had to take a long, hard look at myself and admit that this belief wasn’t serving me. Actually, it was wrecking me.

But let me tell you, that kind of self-reflection isn’t easy. It’s messy and uncomfortable, and it usually comes with a side of ugly crying. But it’s worth it, because once you see a limiting belief for what it is—a lie—you can start to challenge it.

For me, that looked like:

• Journaling about why I felt so alone. (Spoiler: childhood trauma.)
• Therapy. Lots of therapy.
• Practicing vulnerability in small ways, like sharing a personal story with a trusted friend.
• Asking myself, “What if this belief isn’t true? What if there’s another way to look at this?”

Enter Mantras: Rewriting the Script

Once I started challenging that belief, I knew I needed something to replace it with. Enter mantras.

A mantra is just a simple statement you repeat to yourself to reinforce a new belief or mindset. Think of it as reprogramming your brain, one thought at a time. And no, it doesn’t have to be woo-woo or over-the-top. It can be as simple as:

• “I am worthy of connection.”
• “I am not alone.”
• “I deserve to be seen and heard.”

At first, saying these things felt a little silly. I’d roll my eyes at myself and think, Yeah, right. But I stuck with it because deep down, I wanted to believe those things. And slowly, over time, I did.

Manifesting Your Life

Here’s where it all ties back to that self-fulfilling prophecy. When I started believing I wasn’t alone, my actions shifted. I started opening up more to people. I started taking chances on new relationships. And guess what? Those relationships grew into deep, meaningful connections.

It wasn’t magic—it was mindset. My new belief became my new reality.

Why Mantras Matter

So why am I so passionate about mantras? Because they’re such a powerful tool for reshaping your beliefs. And when you reshape your beliefs, you reshape your life.

Here’s what I’ve learned about creating effective mantras:

1. Keep it positive. Focus on what you want, not what you don’t want. For example, instead of saying, “I’m not a failure,” say, “I am capable and resilient.”
2. Make it personal. Your mantra should resonate with you. Don’t borrow someone else’s words if they don’t feel authentic.
3. Repeat it daily. Say it in the mirror, write it in your journal, whisper it under your breath while you’re stuck in traffic—whatever works for you. Consistency is key. I’ve been known to write mantras on sticky notes around my house, car and office.
4. Feel it. Don’t just say the words; let yourself feel what it would be like if they were already true.

Let’s Get Real: What’s Your Limiting Belief?

Alright, enough about me—let’s talk about you. What’s a limiting belief that’s been holding you back? Take a minute to really think about it. Maybe even write it down. (I’ll wait.)

Got it? Good. Now ask yourself:

• Where did this belief come from? When was the first time you felt it?
• Is it true, or is it just a story you’ve been telling yourself?
• What would your life look like if you didn’t believe this anymore?

Then, create a mantra to challenge that belief. Write it on a sticky note. Save it as your phone wallpaper. Tattoo it on your arm if you’re feeling extra bold. (Kidding… kind of.)

Final Thoughts: You’re the Author of Your Story

Here’s the bottom line: Your beliefs are like the script of your life. If you don’t like the story you’re living, you have the power to rewrite it. It’s not easy, and it doesn’t happen overnight, but it’s 100% worth it.

So, what’s your mantra going to be? Let me know—I’d love to hear it. And if you ever need someone to cheer you on as you conquer your limiting beliefs, I’m your girl.

Now, go out there and manifest the life you deserve.

Kendra