Hey, friend. We need to have a little heart-to-heart. I see you out here being amazing, but I also see you being way too hard on yourself. If no one else has told you this lately, you deserve to feel good about yourself. You deserve to feel comfortable in your body, at peace in your mind, and confident in your life. Period. End of story.

But I know it’s not always that simple. We live in a world that throws comparison, pressure, and perfection at us 24/7. So, if you’re out here accidentally hurting your own feelings on the regular, I get it. I do it too. The good news is, we don’t have to live like that. We can make little changes that protect our peace, boost our confidence, and remind us that we’re worthy of kindness — especially from ourselves.

So, let’s talk about three practical, real-life ways to stop hurting your own feelings. Grab a cup of coffee (or wine, I’m not judging) and let’s chat.

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1️⃣ Buy Bigger Clothes (Yes, I Said It — and I Mean It)

I know. I KNOW. There’s a little voice in your head that says, “But I should be able to fit into that size.” Girl, who told you that? Where did that even come from? I’ll wait.

Someone recently asked me when I am most likely to pick myself apart and fall into negative self talk and I really took a minute to think about it and it’s almost always when I see myself in the mirror or in photos in clothes that are too tight.

The size on the tag is literally just a number. It doesn’t define your health, beauty, or value as a human being. But you know what does affect you? Trying to stuff yourself into jeans that cut into your stomach or a dress that you have to constantly tug and adjust. You know that “ugh” feeling? That’s your body screaming for mercy. If you’re insecure about your weight, your tight clothing is only reminding you every second of that insecurity.

So here’s your permission slip (not that you needed one) to buy the bigger size. Go up a size or two. Go up three if that’s what it takes. Clothes are supposed to fit you, not the other way around. When you’re not being pinched, squished, and suffocated all day, you’ll feel more at ease in your body. And when you feel at ease, you’re automatically kinder to yourself. It’s wild how that works.

We all know by now that women’s clothing sizing is complete garbage (particularly jeans) so don’t base anything on the numbers in your closet, try things on and let go of the items that you don’t feel comfortable and confident in (even if they just go into the attic to ease your “just in case” concerns). Free up space for the universe to send you good energy, keeping things around that make you feel bad about yourself is just a form of self-punishment that we simply aren’t doing anymore.

If you’re afraid buying bigger clothes feels like “giving up,” flip the script. It’s not giving up. It’s giving yourself grace. It’s choosing self-respect over self-punishment. And, honestly, bigger clothes are often way cuter than squeezing into stuff you’ve outgrown. (Can we talk about how good an oversized sweater feels on a bad day?!)

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2️⃣ Unfollow People Who Make You Feel Like Trash

This one might be hard, but it’s essential. You are responsible for what you consume, and honey, social media can be a whole buffet of insecurity triggers. Every time you scroll past someone’s “perfect” vacation, body, career, relationship, or house, it’s easy to feel like you’re falling behind in life. Spoiler alert: You’re not.

People post their highlights, not their reality. They post their “Look at my perfect morning routine” but skip the part where they cried in the car on the way to Target. No shade to them — we all want to share the good stuff. But if seeing that “good stuff” is making you feel bad about your own life, it’s time to hit that Unfollow button.

And, friend, I need you to hear this: Unfollowing is not mean. It’s not petty. It’s self-protection. You don’t have to explain it, announce it, or feel guilty about it. If you wouldn’t keep a “friend” around who constantly made you feel inferior, why would you let them stay on your feed?

Here’s what happens when you unfollow people who make you feel bad:

• Your mind gets quieter.
• You stop comparing your Monday to someone else’s Bali beach day.
• You realize that your life is actually pretty amazing when you’re not measuring it against curated perfection.

If you’re not ready to go full “Unfollow,” use the Mute button. It’s a sneaky little option where you don’t have to see their posts, but they don’t know it. Out of sight, out of mind. Protect your peace, babe. You deserve it.

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3️⃣ Stop Using Filters on Your Face (Seriously, Hear Me Out)

Look, I’m all for a cute filter now and then — the puppy ears were a cultural moment we all loved. But if you’re using filters on every single selfie because you hate how you look without them, we need to talk. Filters can mess with your mind. They make you think your real face isn’t good enough. And that, my friend, is a lie.

Your face is your face, and it’s beautiful just as it is. Freckles? Gorgeous. Smile lines? Proof that you’ve laughed a lot. Puffy eyes after a long night? It means you lived. Filters erase all of that, and honestly, they’re making us forget what real faces even look like.

But I get it. It’s not easy to look at a selfie with your “real face” when you’re used to seeing your airbrushed version. So here’s a gentle challenge: Post the unfiltered photo. Post the one where your skin looks like, well, skin. See what happens. I promise you won’t self-destruct.

I don’t remember exactly when I stopped using filters, but it was around 3 years ago and it’s amazing how much better I felt about my “real face” after time. When you get so used to seeing yourself perfectly airbrushed it messes with your mind when you see how you look in the flesh.

Actually, you might feel more powerful than you have in a long time. Here’s why: Every time you show up as your real self, you chip away at the idea that you have to be “perfect” to be worthy. You don’t. People are drawn to realness, not perfection. And if someone sees your unfiltered photo and judges it? That’s a “them” problem, not a “you” problem. I also would so much rather people think oh she looks just like her pictures (or maybe better) in person than the opposite.

Here’s a mantra for you: “I don’t have to be airbrushed to be beautiful.” Write it down. Tattoo it on your heart. Whatever you have to do, just know it’s true.

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🌟 Bonus Tips (Because I Love You and Want You to Thrive)

• Be kind to your inner voice. If you wouldn’t say it to your best friend, don’t say it to yourself.
• Stop chasing “perfect.” It’s not real. Life is messy, and messy can be beautiful.
• Take a social media break. If it’s feeling too loud and heavy, log out for a weekend. Your mind will thank you.
• Make a “Feel Good” playlist. Music has a way of snapping us out of a funk.

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The Bottom Line

At the end of the day, life is already throwing enough challenges our way. Why be our own biggest critic when we could be our biggest fan? Nobody’s got it all figured out. We’re all winging it, hoping for the best. But if you make a few small changes — buying clothes that fit, curating your social media feed, and embracing your real, unfiltered face — you’ll start to feel a little lighter, a little freer, and a lot more you.

You’re already enough, just as you are. And I’m here cheering for you every step of the way.

If this message spoke to you, send it to a friend who needs to hear it. We all deserve to feel good. ✨

Your Friend Who Wants You to Win,
Kendra