Ever wonder why certain leaders hesitate to mentor others? It’s frustrating, right? Especially when you’re looking to grow and learn, but the person who’s supposed to guide you seems to be holding back. If you’ve ever been in that position, you’re not alone. Many leaders shy away from mentoring, and it usually boils down to one of these three reasons:

1. They’re Afraid of Losing Their Edge

Some leaders believe they have a proprietary skillset or unique knowledge. They’ve worked hard to stand out and think, “If I share this, I won’t be special anymore.” They fear that teaching someone else what they know will dilute their uniqueness, and suddenly, they won’t have that “secret sauce” that’s gotten them ahead. But here’s the thing: true growth isn’t about hoarding knowledge, it’s about spreading it. The most successful leaders I’ve seen are the ones who aren’t afraid to elevate others.

2. They Fear Being Found Out

This one’s big. Many leaders are afraid that once they teach others their skills, people will realize that what they do isn’t as hard as it seems. And that thought? It terrifies them. They worry they’ll be exposed as inadequate or even feel like a fraud. This fear is deeply rooted in imposter syndrome, which we’ve all felt at some point. But mentoring is a way to push through that fear. By teaching others, you also reinforce your own skills and, in the process, discover that you’re more capable than you realized.

3. They Think It’s Inefficient

Some leaders believe that mentoring will slow them down. They’re focused on achieving their own goals and think that taking time to teach someone else will only get in the way. It’s like they think their productivity will take a hit if they pause to bring someone up to speed. But the truth is, mentoring doesn’t dilute your effectiveness—it multiplies it. By empowering others, you create a ripple effect that benefits the whole team. And ultimately, you achieve more.

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Now, here’s where it gets tricky: Not every leader is automatically a great mentor. In fact, just because someone’s in a leadership position doesn’t mean they should mentor. Nothing is worse than someone who plays nice in public, praising others in meetings, but behind closed doors, belittles their team. Just because you’ve got a title doesn’t mean you’re fit to lead—or mentor.

I’ve seen this play out in real life. I once worked with someone who was the perfect example of a “play-nice-in-the-sandbox-but-stab-you-in-the-back” type. She was a master at doing just enough visible work to get noticed, make herself seen, and play the game. She kept getting promoted, but behind the scenes, her peers were constantly cleaning up her messes. It was frustrating because her superiors only saw the surface level—her FaceTime with them—and ignored the chaos she left behind.

She wasn’t the only example, either. I’ve seen this happen over and over. These types of leaders are so focused on climbing the ladder that they forget (or don’t care) about the people they’re supposed to be leading.

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The Difference Between a Leader and a Mentor

Here’s the kicker: being a leader doesn’t automatically make you a mentor. Anyone can work hard, get noticed, and move up in their career. There’s nothing wrong with that, but true leadership goes beyond just getting promoted. Real leaders understand the value of mentoring. They’re humble. They want to see others succeed. They know that fear, shame, and pride are the enemies of growth.

If you want to reach your full potential as a leader, you have to be willing to mentor. You can’t let insecurities hold you back. The best leaders I know aren’t the ones afraid of sharing what they know—they’re the ones who embrace it. They understand that lifting others up doesn’t lower them; it elevates the entire team.

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So, whether you’re a leader now or aspiring to be one, remember this: don’t let fear, shame, or pride get in the way of mentoring. The more you share, the more you grow. And that’s the real secret to being a leader who stands out.

Until Next Time,
Kendra